Today was a very good day. AJ was coaxed into saying "Happy Dada Day" for my husband and for his grandfathers. It is the cutest thing to hear. I think I feel the most pang of hurt in regards to AJ's autism is I the fact that I missed out on all the little conversations we could have had. I listen to my friends tell me all about the conversations they had with their children who were born in the same month as AJ and although I share in their joy, I will admit I always feel jealousy too. I won't go through that mommy why stage. I won't experience those silly little observations or those silly explainations they come up with for themselves. It just won't happen for us (at least not anytime soon).
I think I will always mourn the little boy I will never have, while enjoying the little boy I got.
It's not so bad in Holland :)
Taria
This blog will mostly be about my son who has autism. But from time to time I will write about me. A lot of times I find it helpful to write down my feelings when I don't have anyone to talk to.
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