Today was AJ's last day of school. I'm so proud of all his accomplishments this year.
I've been thinking more and more that I want to have another child. I don't know if it's just my maternal side talking, but I just can't bare the thought of AJ being all alone in this world if something should happen to my husband or myself. The selfish part of me is hoping my next baby will be a typical child. I could never forgive myself for leaving behind two special needs children.
I've been googling adoption information lately. I've brought it up to my husband once or twice, but he isn't ready for that step. If I left it up to him AJ would be it and he'd be ok with it. I've never wanted an only child. I've always saw my family as a big family bursting out at the seams. My parents both came from 7 children families, and I alays wanted that. Growing up it was just me and my sister, and I always wanted more siblings. Aj desirves to not be alone. He desirves to have more people in this world who loves him.
Is this selfish of me?
Taria
This blog will mostly be about my son who has autism. But from time to time I will write about me. A lot of times I find it helpful to write down my feelings when I don't have anyone to talk to.
1 comment:
No, that is not selfish of you in any way. You can't help what it is that you want and you deserve it, whatever it is. I'm in the same boat as you, sweetie, and I feel your pain and frustration.
Renee
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