I'm Angry

Don't worry, I'm not angry at AJ. I'm angry at our circumstances. This past Saturday I attended a wedding. At this wedding I was seated at a table with a woman who was about five or six months pregnant. Over the course of the reception I saw this woman drink no less than three glasses of champaigne, and at least two fruity looking mixed drinks. When we all lived in an apartment, our upstairs neighbor would smoke like a friggin chiminey and drink beer.

So why am I angry you ask? I'll happily tell you. I'm angry because I did everything right. I don't drink and have never smoked. I ate healthy, took my vitamins, excercised a bit, and was expecting a perfect child. My neighbor had a totally healthy little girl, I'm sure the wedding woman will have an amazingly healthy baby. Me? Although AJ is physically healthy, mentally he isn't. I'm angry that I did everything right and by the books and my baby isn't 100% perfect as I expected.

He's going to be 8yrs old next week and still behaves like a toddler. I'm angry because I don't know what his future holds for him. I'm angry because I can't be here with him for his lifetime to make sure he's alright. I'm angry that Justin will eventually need to step up and help care for his older brother. I'm angry because no one can tell us what we need to do to "fix" my child.

Almost 8yrs old

Here is a picture from AJ's 8yr old session. He's come a long way these past few years. Lately he's been testing my patience, but I know it could be so much worse. I've heard horror stories of kids being violent and abusive to their parents. AJ has taken to his brother better than we expected. Sometimes while "playing" AJ will get a bit rough and we have to step in but for the most part he plays ok with Justin. Justin just adores his big brother.

23 more days until AJ is 8yrs old!!

rough day

Even though AJ had school today he came home in a mood and gave me one hell of an evening. I know he doesn't mean to be "bad" and that sometimes he really can't help himself, but he really wore me out today. Right now he's playing on my bedroom floor quietly but I know that any second something can set him off. Justin is down there with him so I know it's only a matter of time before the baby upsets him.

I'm going to go out to lunch and a movie with my mom on Sunday so a few hours away from the boys will be welcomed.

Taria

CALLING ALL CARS!!!

CALLING ALL CARS!! CALLING ALL CARS!! BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR THIS BLANKET!!! This blanket is AJ's BEST FRIEND!! We originally had two but one was burned and torn. When I cut the burned parts off he wanted nothing more to do with the thing. That left the other blanket to pick up the slack. Please help a stressed momma find some piece of mind. Send me a message if you have seen one of these in your area......many thanks!

Summer Break

AJ's last day of school is Monday, and I am not looking forward to the two week summer break. Lately he has been so unmanageable it has brought me (and him) to tears. He will not follow directions. He does things he knows will get him in trouble. I understand that he has impulse controll issues, but this is too much. I just want my sweet little boy to be all better. I want him to talk to me and tell me what's wrong. I want him to behave. I want to take him out and not have to apologize to a million people because of his "odd" behavior. I want to take AJ and his brother to the park and not have to worry about who he will attack or how fast he'll run away from me. I just want my baby to be "normal".

I'm sorry for the vent, but the past week was really hard on both of us and I'm nearing mommy burnout. I'm going to get a massage, pedicure, and manicure next week so maybe that will help.

Thanks for letting me vent.

T

Just Pictures...lol.

Valentine's Day

I meant to post AJ's Valentine's Day card in February, but I guess I forgot.

Spring Break

AJ was on spring break this week. He woke up very early almost every morning, barged into my bedroom (while I was still sleeping) and came to me face to face to ask me "BUS?" Sleepily I would respond "No bus". To which he responded "CAR?" and I could only answer with "No car". This back and forth would go on for about an hour and then he would go into his room to play. Then a few hours later we'd go through it again, and then again at bedtime. So I guess he really likes school, or he really likes the bus...lol.

We spent this spring break doing some cleaning, but for his first summer break we are definitely going to do something fun, maybe great adventure or the water park. I'm still trying to get some weekend activities together so I can make up for a crappy summer last year.

We are going to try to make it to Baltimore Harbor, a friend says it's awesome there.

WAAD

Today was World Autism Awareness Day. Today was also my dad's birthday. So in honor of WAAD we all wore blue, and in honor of my dad's birthday the boys and I took him to lunch.

PICTURES!!!

Parent Teacher Conference

Today we met with AJ's teacher and speech therapist. AJ is doing really well. They are working on multisylabal words and 3 word sentences. He's had a few meltdowns but they distract him with a puzzle. I really need to try that...lol. We were FINALLY able to take him to a dentist a few weeks ago. He has a lot going on in there but they'll fix everything all at once. Of course they'll have to knock him out and that makes me nervous, but he'll feel a lot better and so will we. Now we just have to come up with $1500 to get it taken care of....ugh!

Webcam Fun

AJ playing with my webcam while Justin laughs at him.