Word Explosion!!

Even though AJ was sick this week, he had a very nice word explosion. He started saying "blue blue" for Blue's Clues. He started saying "cookie monster". He was also watching Dora the Explorer and repeated the path the map laid out for them "garden, gate, wizards castle".

I can't tell you how pleased I was to witness all of this. With each word I gain more and more hope that his future will be bright and "normal".

Taria

Just an update

Well it's the holiday season so as you can imagine I'm swamped. AJ has been doing very well. He did awesome durring Thanksgiving. We actually wound up eating a bit later than expected and AJ wasn't happy at all about that. He was walking around grabbing everyone by the face saying "EAT". It was the cutest thing.

I still haven't had a moment to take his holiday photos, so I decided to NOT do Christmas photos. Instead we are doing Happy New Year cards...lol. I really did plan on taking photos this week, but it turns out my baby has a really bad double ear infection. The cold he was coming down with late last week moved into his ears around Monday. He has had a fever from 101.9 - 102.3 for the last three days. Once we figured out it wasn't a flu we got to the doctor and got some medication. He should be all better in a few days.

He seems to be feeling better at the current moment since he's asking to eat and is playing on his computer.

Taria

give me strength

Lord please give me strength. As I type this AJ is standing next to me SCREAMING in my ear. For what you ask? I won't let him take his bath at 4:00pm. He is just cranky and is taking all his frustration out on me. I am about to SNAP. I love my son, but I don't know if I can do this tantrum for nothing every day. He has to learn to follow my directions and when I say no or wait it isn't the end of the world.

Lord give me the strength to change the things I can;
Accept the things I can't change;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Taria

Old McDonald had a farm....

Tonight I heard DH and AJ singing Old Mcdonald. It was the absolute cutest thing EVER!! He sang the chorus and the quack quack part. I am amazed by that little boy every day. Now don't get me wrong I have my days where I just feel like I can't do this, but more often than not I wonder at how my son........just sparkles.

Taria

Attitude

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head."Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today?" So she did and she hada wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. "H-M-M," she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today?" So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. "Well," she said, "today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head. "YEA!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!"Attitude is everything.


Be kinder than necessary,for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly.......Leave the rest to God

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain!

Autism Walk Day

Today we attended the North Central Jersey Autism Walk. We had a great team and a great fundraising effort. We raised about $2600 and still counting. We didn't reach our goal, but I'm still very happy. We had family and friends out to support us and it was great. AJ did fantastic. He didn't walk, but he had the best seat in the house...lol. Obi was so tired after the walk (ok, we all were...lol).

Here are a few pics.

I win, I win!!

I'm so proud...

We all know that my boy makes me the proudest mama in the world. Well his daddy is hard at work making me proud also. I'm happy to annouce that my husband's book is for sale on Amazon.com!!

Find A Way

Please support him in this adventure and feel free to email him to chat. He loves meeting new people and just talking.

Taria

photos

I was looking at some photos as I was archiving files on my computer. I came across this photo from February 2007. Right after I took this first photo AJ imitated a barking sound. At that moment I felt that I made the right decision by getting Obi for our family. We are going to go back into training soon so Obi can become a certified therapy dog. Keep your fingers crossed that I keep my patience and sanity through out the process...lol.

AJ has been saying words and getting his wants across better. We are still working with him regarding his food issues, but it's a slow process. His school and teachers have been fantastic in his successes. I know his future is bright and full of hope.






Taria

It's about time

Today as I was signing online to check out a website, I saw an ad for Autism. I guess once celebrities start screaming that their kids have autism it's time to bring awareness to it.



Taria

Tough day...(for me)

Today I had a tough day personally. But since this blog is suppose to be about AJ. My husband sent me some pictures that brought a much needed smile to my face.

The past few weeks he's gotten so good at moving around noggin.com and sesamestreet.org. He even found his way to nickjr.com (don't ask me how). He's my little genius...lol.

Taria

9/11

I just want to take a moment and send my thoughts out to the families that lost loved ones in the attacks on 9/11/01.

Taria

Obi

Obi is the black labrador we got in February to train as an autism assistance dog. He's been doing great. He will bark when AJ starts doing something he really shouldn't do. He's 8 months old now, so he still has a ton of puppy behaviors. We usually take him with us when we go to my parent's house. This Labor Day we went over there as usual, and I got this little clip. I found it very funny...lol.

DISCLAIMER: NO ANIMALS WERE HURT WHILE FILMING THIS CLIP


Taria

Great Adventure

This past Sunday we (my mom, Bryanna, me, & AJ) went to Six Flags Great Adventure. We had a fantastic time. AJ was a very good boy (until he got tired). He LOVES LOVES LOVES the thrill rides...lol. He got on a small roller coaster and a few others and just loved it. He would get on and once we got going he would say "weeeeee"....lol. After each ride he would sign for "more". I can't wait to take him to other places and let him have fun. Everytime we passed a ride he wanted to get on he would point and say "weeeeee" it was absolutely adorable!!

Here's a few pictures of AJ enjoying the "weeee".....lol.

Amusement Park Milestone...

Yesterday I took AJ and Bryanna (my niece) to Sesame Place for the afternoon. We had such a great time. We had to inform them that AJ was autistic and were premitted to get those orange wrist bands to let them know we didn't have to wait on line. Can i just say that was awesome!!

Before yesterday AJ had never been on an amusement park ride, and he absolutely loved it...lol. I was so happy to allow him to experience that. He kept signing for more when the ride was done...lol. No pictures to show from yesterday (I needed both eyes and hands to stay on him), but we are going to Great Adventure today with my mom in tow, so I'll try to get some pictures of AJ on a few rides.

Taria

5th Birthday

Today was AJ's 5th birthday. We did our best to make it a very special day. He got a big boy bike, so now we have to teach him how to ride it. His grandma (dh's mother) came up to visit from South Carolina, so he is basking in lots of attention.


He also gave me a gift. AJ has been pointing at my photos around the house and saying "see" for a few weeks. Finally yesterday he pointed to a photo of me and said "bobby" (mommy). I was almost reduced to TEARS. He still hasn't called me mommy, but I know it's only a matter of time. He says "daddy" very clearly, but he still has not called my dh "daddy". It'll come soon I'm sure.

Potty training is going well, so we are still moving in a positive direction. School starts next week, and I can't wait until we start seeing all the progress from the extra speech and OT sessions.

Here is a photo of my now 5yr old son!!





Taria

Guess who lost another tooth yesterday?

If you guessed AJ, then you are 100% correct...lol. My mom had him Saturday night. She said when she fed him breakfast he had the tooth but when I got there it was missing. Harold and I believe he took it out himself since my parents say they didn't do it. I told my mom that I forbid her to vacume her house until she finds the tooth...lol.


On a good note, AJ is verbally communicating so much more now. He still stems vocally, but now there are some words in there. I felt so bad the other day. He was trying so hard to tell me something but I couldn't understand him. On a less frustrating note, he will parrot words very well. Harold has him trying to say two word combinations, but I'm focusing on the single words and associations.


His grandmother is coming to visit him next weekend for his birthday. He hasn't seen her in about a year so this is a nice treat for both of them. We decided to keep his birthday low key this year. We are having a big family dinner and cake. We are still debating if we will take him to Sesame Place the weekend after his birthday. We haven't been there in a long while and it's time to replace some of his stuffed characters. Grover has been around the block and back again...lol.

Taria

Where's my baby?

Well two nights ago, I lost my baby. No, I didn't physically lose my baby, but my baby is gone forever. Two nights ago, my little boy lost his first tooth. I know, I know I'm just being a sentimental mother, but when he lost his tooth I lost my baby. The child I help everyday is now my son. Deep in my heart he will always be my baby, but he will grow into a young man soon and I'll still wonder where my baby went. Even in his pictures now I don't see my baby anymore, I see my big boy.

The hardest thing is coming to grips that my almost 5yr old son who still has to be "babied" in a way is growing up so fast. I'm sure I'll be an emotional wreck on his birthday (three weeks!!). Oh well enough with the emotional mommy thoughts. Here is a picture of my big boy.

Taria

Soon to be 1 short...

This past week while I was at work my darling husband sends me a text message. My baby has a loose tooth!! I can't believe it. I thought it was too soon for that, but when I examined it, his tooth is definately loose. The only thing that's unknown to us is if it's loose because it's just time to start losing teeth, or if he fell on his face somewhere along the line...lol.

I'm not ready for my baby to be a big boy.

Taria

7/27

AJ has picked up 2 more words!! He now says "Oobi" and "lollypop". Oobi is a hand puppet show on noggin, and lollypop is obvious. I'm always so happy when he gets more words. He's also been telling me to "sit"...lol.

He's such a sweet boy, I can't wait to just sit and have conversations with him. God I hope that day will come soon. He's been through so much and desirves a chance to have the best life possible. I can't live forever, but I can't "go" without knowing if he'll be ok.

DH and I have to work on our wills so I"ve been thinking a lot about what will happen to my "baby" when I'm gone. I have to admit I'm more scared of leaving him alone than actually going.

Taria

7/17

Well I think by the end of the summer we will have jumpped over a HUGE hurdle. Dare I say/type it? Sure I will!!

I think by the start of the new school year my sweet little boy may be potty trained!!!!!

I know, I know, I may also be jinxing myself, but I'm so hopefull. This just has to happen. This past weekend my not so little boy was in big boy underwear and and had no accidents (that i know of). I was so so proud of him. He even started going to the bathroom by himself a few times, so that is such a promising thing. He does still wet at night, but that's because he insists on having 4oz of milk still, but with any luck by next month we can stop that too.

He has also been verbalizing more, He can say so many words now. Now I'm not saying he can speak clearly but I understand what he is saying. He still signs more, help, and eat, but he says eat, milk, pee pee, cookie, yes, and ketchup. He can say quite a few other word, but those are the words he uses regularly and appropriately.

I can't wait for the day where I can have a conversation with my baby. It doesn't have to be a long conversation, just a simple back and forth small conversation. I swear I'd call out of work and cry tears of joy....lol. All after I called the entire world and bragged....lol.

Taria

7/4

HAPPY 4th of JULY!!

Today was very nice. We had a family bbq at our house. It's hard to believe we've been in here for 1yr already. I love this house, but there are so many things to fix and update that sometimes it gets to be a bit overwhelming. But AJ has a yard to run around in and a safe home environment, so it makes all of the house stress worth it in the end.

Yesterday I took AJ and Bryanna (my 9yr old niece) to see fireworks on the waterfront. Bryanna had a great time. AJ on the other hand had multiple meltdowns. Long story short I twisted my ankle trying to chase him down and catch him before he ran into the street. I did catch him by the way...lol. We stayed in the car while Bryanna enjoyed the free concert. But when the time came for the fireworks, he sat on top of my car and really had a nice time. Just looking at the excitement on his face made all those tantrums worth it. That joy quickly passed when he melted-down after the show and I had to force him into the car kicking and screaming.

You would think that after 3yrs of tantrums, meltdowns, and sheer "AJness" I would get use to all of the stares and nasty looks people give me. Oh well, he's mine and I love him no matter what, and anyone who has anything negative to say can kiss my you know what.

Taria

6/27

Today was AJ's first day of summer school. We had a great time together durring his week off. Today a friend of mine emailed me a link to a story about fragile x syndrome and autism. If I understood the article correctly, a scientist in Massachusetts thinks he found a way to "cure" fragile x syndrome. Naturally his tests have only been done on genetically engineered mice, but it does give hope that they can find a cure in the next few years. Keep your fingers crossed.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070627/hl_afp/ushealthautism

Taria

6/24

AJ and I had a great week off together. I have a brand new respect for his teachers at school. That child is full of non-stop energy....lol. He would get going from 7am to about 10pm every night...lol. Oh to be young again!!

We didn't really do much this week. We hung around the house and played. He did manage to parret quite a few words, so I was thrilled with that.

Today we are going to relax and play and in between try to cook dinner or something. The next few weeks will be pretty dull. The only exciting thing we have to look forward to is Summer school starting on Wednesday. The 4th of July we are having friends over for food and fun, so that should be nice. If the township does the waterway fireworks again we can watch them (and the ones my neighbors usually set off) from the front lawn. He did so well with them last year. He didn't fuss once about the noise, he really enjoyed looking at them and actually clapped after each one went off. It was so cute!!

We may also go to a family reunion type BBQ that Saturday, but I haven't decided yet. I get so sick of people trying to pretend there isn't a problem. I think that's more annoying than them pretending he's retarded or something. Oh well, I'll let you know what I decide and I'll try to get some photos up.

Taria

6/18

Today was AJ's last day of school. I'm so proud of all his accomplishments this year.

I've been thinking more and more that I want to have another child. I don't know if it's just my maternal side talking, but I just can't bare the thought of AJ being all alone in this world if something should happen to my husband or myself. The selfish part of me is hoping my next baby will be a typical child. I could never forgive myself for leaving behind two special needs children.

I've been googling adoption information lately. I've brought it up to my husband once or twice, but he isn't ready for that step. If I left it up to him AJ would be it and he'd be ok with it. I've never wanted an only child. I've always saw my family as a big family bursting out at the seams. My parents both came from 7 children families, and I alays wanted that. Growing up it was just me and my sister, and I always wanted more siblings. Aj desirves to not be alone. He desirves to have more people in this world who loves him.

Is this selfish of me?

Taria

6/17

Today was a very good day. AJ was coaxed into saying "Happy Dada Day" for my husband and for his grandfathers. It is the cutest thing to hear. I think I feel the most pang of hurt in regards to AJ's autism is I the fact that I missed out on all the little conversations we could have had. I listen to my friends tell me all about the conversations they had with their children who were born in the same month as AJ and although I share in their joy, I will admit I always feel jealousy too. I won't go through that mommy why stage. I won't experience those silly little observations or those silly explainations they come up with for themselves. It just won't happen for us (at least not anytime soon).

I think I will always mourn the little boy I will never have, while enjoying the little boy I got.

It's not so bad in Holland :)

Taria

6/16

Today was a good day for AJ with the exception of a "painting" incident this morning. AJ tends to play in his fecal matter if left unattended. His therapist says he does it for texture input, but not only does it gross me out, it pisses his father off. AJ hasn't done the walls in a while, but when he does do it no one is happy.

This afternoon we went to my parent's house to help with some yard work. Bryanna, my niece, was there to help keep an eye on AJ. He did very well. He loves being there and hanging out with Bryanna. She is only 9yrs old and is amazing with him.

Obi was there too. Obi is a 6 month old black labrador that I got in February to train as a theraputic dog for AJ. Right now we are still working obedience, but he has such a fantastic personality for what we want him for. He won't be fully trained until he's about 2yrs or so, but he's already been such a great influence on AJ. So far AJ has imitated a dog barking, something he's NEVER done. He also sits on the toilet and plays with Obi's ears or tail. Don't get me started on how cute these two are in the car...lol. AJ has accepted Obi better than expected. The only set back is since Obi is still a puppy he's a jumper, and AJ doesn't like that very much. But in all honesty Obi doesn't like it when AJ pulls hairs out of his tail, so I guess they are both even....lol.

Taria

School Report 6/14/07

On Thursday I went to a IEP meeting at AJ's school. An IEP meeting is basically a meeting between me, his teacher, a therapist or two, and his caseworker. We sat down and just discussed where he is, what he has accomplished, and what we want to accomplish in the upcomming months.

Starting this summer school session he will receive 2 sessions per week of speech and language therapy, 2 sessions per week of occupational therapy, and 3 sessions per week of adaptive physical education component therapy.

With the extra sessions I'm sure this year will bring improvments by leaps and bounds. I am very happy with the progress the school is making and I can't wait until AJ is ok to be in a typical classroom environment with "typical" children.

Taria

Welcome to Holland

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a special need, to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."" Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around - and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

Introduction

Hello,

My name is Taria and my son A.J. has autism. This blog will serve as an outlet for me to just get things off my chest. I don't plan on sending this blog to anyone to read, but if you come accross it and learn from it or enjoy it. WELCOME....lol.

I do wish I started something like this when he was diagnosed at 2yrs old. He has improved much over the last 3yrs, but we still have a long rocky road ahead of us. I'd love to have another child, but my husband is putting the kabosh on that. He is scared that we will have another autistic child. AJ is a handfull, but he is by no means as bad as it can get. He is a very loving, very sweet, and a VERY VERY active child. AJ is also 95% non-verbal.

Autism is a very upsetting and puzzling disorder. It is neurological in nature and effects an individuals behavior, language skills, social skills and sensory processing system. It is a mystery to doctors and researchers. Recent statistics show 1 in 94 children in New Jersey has been diagnosed with autism. Advocates and lawmakers are now calling the situation a crisis.

Him being non-verbal is very frustrating for him and us. He also has SID (sensory integration disorder) which basically means he is hypersensitive to textures, touches, and sounds. With a lot of hard work, dedication, and determination we hope that AJ will one day be a "typical" boy.

Taria